How Did I Get Here?

FEAR

My eyes are faint with dissolution

holding my mind and heart back with confusion.

Chills creeping up my back,

sweat dripping from my brows,

shutting me down, leaving me crippled, feeling like a borderline hypochondriac.

Blood racing through my veins

speeding up my pulse and bottling my brain.

One thought goes through my mind and everything else becomes clear.

As I feel myself crying on the inside realizing this is fear.

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It was on an early Thursday morning when I found myself laying on Tyvola Rd. "How did I get here?" That was one of two thoughts that ran through my mind. The other thought, well, quite honestly, I thought he was gonna hurt me more than he already had. "I need to get up." That's what I kept telling myself through the tears. In fact, if I hadn't gotten up off the road when I did, I would have been seriously hurt; a car came around the corner not even a minute later.

I've never seen someone so angry. The rage in his eyes was almost demonic as he picked me up out of the car and threw me into the street.

Being abused, in any fashion, is no light matter. There are usually almost always signs that someone is capable of manifesting abusive behavior.

So again, I had to ask myself, "how did I get here?" .... Well, I chose to ignore the signs. I chose to allow fear of the what if's, and the maybe's and the I'll never find someone or something better, to fog my judgment.

Perhaps one day, I'll share the entire story with y'all. But for now, this will do.

Listen, if anyone is physically harming you, male or female, say something and get help before it's too late!

Realize that you are so valuable and are loved by so many. Realize that God loves you! And that He sees you! And that He cares for you! If you want a way of escape, ask Him. He always provides.